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How to Get the Conversation Started

There is a three-step process outlined in Choosing Help about how to start and have a conversation with someone about the decision of whether or not to get help

  1. Ask about their thoughts about getting help
  1. Listen to their response
  1. Discuss their thoughts on seeking help


When talking with someone who needs help but is resistant, learn the right things to say…
DON'T SAY

"You should get help."

DO SAY

"Have you been thinking about getting help?"

DON'T SAY

"Go see a doctor."

DO SAY

"What are your thoughts on getting help?"

DON'T SAY

"If I were you, I'd get help."

DO SAY

"What do you think about treatments?"

DON'T SAY

"I don't know how to help you."

DO SAY

"Here are some resources to try."

Learn how to talk to loved ones about getting help…
01
Be emphatic by trying to understand their perspective
02
Respect yourself and your loved one during the discussion
03
Actively listen—hear, understand and confirm your understanding of their thoughts
04
Stay calm and learn how to deal with strong emotions during this discussion
05
Identify the timing for the discussion—when to have it, when to stop it, who to lead it, etc.
06
Learn about enabling (and why it helps your loved one to continue to avoid seeking help)
National Organizations
National Institute of Health
National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH)
National Institute for Drug Abuse (NIDA)
National Institute for Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
National Center for Complementary and Integrative Medicine (NCCIH)
Helpful Links
Free Support Lines
Veterans Crisis Line
  • Call toll-free number 1-800-273-TALK, Press 1
  • Text 838255

You’ll be immediately connected to suicide prevention and mental health professionals.

SAMHSA National Helpline
  • Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

This provides 24-hour free and confidential treatment referral and information about mental and/or substance use disorders, prevention, and recovery.